Skulls and Crossed Bones: What The Black Jaguar Really Knows
My first encounter with the underworld happened in the dark and moist embrace of Scottish winter. I experienced a couple of injuries at work which led me to seeking out a safe and nurturing retreat. I immersed myself in a unique blend of sound, primordial elements and shamanic medicine. And… I was initiated by death.
Over the years I visited some of the most incredible places on our planet. Places that are gateways to the underworld, the void – the primordial womb. During this time I encountered numerous wonderful beings. From giant pythons, to jaguars, to black unicorns. I even went for a swim with crocodiles! None of these encounters felt comfortable. After all, I was ripped apart. To the bones and beyond.
Over the years the darkness of the underworld claimed everything I had. Home, work, health, connections. I also had to sacrifice everything I knew about myself – my thoughts, my dreams, my feelings, my beliefs. My pain. My fears. The beings that I encountered devoured every single piece of me. And there was no going back to where I came from. The door to the past – the old me – was shut.
I found myself in a belly of the guardians of the underworld. They had many different faces, many different names. But they all had one thing in common. The sound. The song of the primordial womb. The song that a mother sings to her children.
The darkness finally reached the core of my soul. After peeling off the many layers of my being, she exposed my true self, my true gifts and my true yearnings. She changed my tune to one that resonated with the rest of her creation. And… she pushed me out! It was time to come back out into the light.
The underworld is known to be a place where both death and birth happen. It is a place of disease and suffering. And it is a place of profound healing. It is not easy to grasp these contradictions. How can the two co-exist together? But some wisdom is simply beyond our human understanding. This wisdom is in the safekeeping of certain beings. The beings that support us through transitions, death, rebirth, eclipses. They might seem like the most scary predators when we first encounter them. But rest assured, they know how to carry us through the most important thresholds in our lives.
When you find yourself in the stillness of the dark, listen. Listen to that which arises within the silence of nothingness. Embrace the challenge of giving up the background noise and numerous distractions. Let go of the burdens and heavy emotional baggage. And listen to what your soul wants you to know.
What is your tune? What are you singing into being? Which path is yours to walk?
Where is your true belonging? Who are you?
What do you really want?
The dark unknown may feel quite daunting. But do invite her. She brings the gift of the deepest knowing about your path, your purpose and your greatest joy. This is why she takes away so much. She takes away all obstacles and distractions. Because she knows what you really want. Even if you don’t. Yet…
Death is the most liberating experience to be had. Darkness is the most nurturing place to find oneself in. Where the decay of the old nourishes new beginnings. There is nothing that isn’t love when you’re in the belly of a black jaguar.
I wish you the sweetest blessings of the dark season upon us.